beautiful genderfuck

stolen from split_psychosis

eke432@gmail.com — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:08:22 GMT

anon meme.

GO NUTS YOU GUYS.

eke432@gmail.com — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:02:35 GMT

Official verdict's in. If I get another D in any class, I have to move back down to Texas.

If that happens, I'll be trying to strike a deal of some sort, in which I might be able to stay here and go to PCC or something in return for paying entirely for it.
If you're reading this, chances are you know me well.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm being an emo kid with no real reason to. "Just pull on up, Ethan, you're a smart kid!"
sometimes I wish I wasn't such a failure with this sort of thing.
I'd like to think that. Really, I would. But when I'm surrounded by people who are so much smarter than me, getting so much better grades than me, and generally so much more fit for where they are than me... I don't know. I'm not going to say I'm stupid, because honestly I know I'm capable of at least some form of intellectual discourse, but even a kind of smart guy is an idiot when thrown into a room of geniuses.
I'm sick and tired of everything. I want to go lay down in my room and not get up.
Other important news: probably going to drop what RPs I have left. That way, I won't be tempted to do anything but work. Because, seriously, I can handle being a little socially deprived for the next few years in exchange for not being socially isolated in Texas. I'm trying to keep up in The Wake, but... I'm character squatting by this point, and that's bad.
I'm not suicidal. Just so apathetic it hurts. Like always.
Still haven't told that one person I like them. Still have no estimated time of confession except for "maybe possibly someday."
I need to learn how to work. I need to learn how to do things right.
I need to stop hanging out in the common room. If I can figure out how to do work in isolation, I'll seriously have it made. Because, really, relativistically speaking, I have a net bonus in happiness this way. At least I get to eat lunch with the people I like, right?
I'm not kidding anyone. I'll never be able to tell her I like her.
I've already stepped down to what amounts to a "mod assistant" in the one RP I'm trying to help mod, and I'm even failing my duties at that. Apathy really doesn't help you along the "activity" path, does it? Heh.
She'd probably hate me for it anyway, right? I don't want that.
I need physical contact so fucking badly. Sex, a hug, a kiss, cuddling up to someone, holding hands with someone, even a pat on the shoulder - anything. I've somehow managed to hit where I was this summer, and that's a Very Bad Thing. I cuddled up to the ex-dorm furry last night, because fuck it, he's a nice guy past the massive amounts of sketch, he's really not ugly, and he's already taken so I don't have to worry about people trying to shove their hands in my pants ~~again~~. And he's not that kind of guy. I hope. I don't want to find that kind of guy again.
I don't want that to happen. If I can be her friend, I'm okay with that.
I still feel like I don't belong in my major. I feel like I don't belong in most of the majors. Math/Phys majors are supposed to be good at Math and Physics, right? Right? I'm taking some more English/Classics based classes next semester, and who knows, maybe that'll kindle some secret passion within me. I doubt it, but then again, I'm just apathetically bitching at everything right now.
Even if I probably fuck that up too.
I managed to (im/de)press my humanities conference today. They were talking about lack of activity/speaking up in class, and going around mentioning why they didn't speak up much. It finally got to me without me realizing, so when they asked me I just said the truth, quote: "I don't really think anything I come up with is worth saying." Meant it like a "I'm not good with discussing Kantian ideals through an impromptu interpretation of Rousseau's natural man," but it ended up getting more of a self-deprecating viewpoint across, evidently. (Not that that's too far off from the truth. orz)
I miss RPing. but not for healthy reasons.
And to top it all off, I left the three games I bought/borrowed on the Trimet. They have them in custody, and I'm going to get them later today, but fuck it all anyways. I wanted to play my Guitar Hero / Silent Hill 3 then. >:[
I want to feel things. I want to find love. I want to hurt someone. I want to grin with my friends and mean it. I want to torture someone to death.
>:[
If I RP it out, it gets a little better. I'm such a sick fuck.
...
The worst part is, I don't even care about it. I just know I can't do it. Even I know that's wrong.
>:'[
I wish I could feel something right now. Anything.
That's all for now. Tune in next time for the next episode of "Ethan bitching about petty things that really don't measure up to half the shit going on in most people's everyday lives."

Fuck.

eke432@gmail.com — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:00:20 GMT

I've lost all motivation in regards to Math and Physics. I love reading, and I love interpreting things, and I love writing things, but Math and Physics are just bleh. It doesn't help that Reed Math isn't real math.

I'm turning into an English Major, and I'm not sure I care.

halp.

BECAUSE I AM A WHORE derp

eke432@gmail.com — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:09:16 GMT

1. There are 30 questions.
2. Next to each number, write the name of the person who fits.
3. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme.

1. lewdness
2. honorableshadow
3. Nobody.
4. knackster change the A to W for WHALES
5. karijou sob
6. warplanes
7. eleventh_end
8. suporma
9. Everyone. C:
10. kamesen24
11. sob idk if I even know anyone on LJ like that
12. joltacat
13. lewdness l-lol
14. kamesen24 It's in the name.
15. suporma
16. reverie_shadow
17. sachibelle In a good way, mostly.
18. split_psychosis
19. evilsimon
20. kamesen24
21. knackster, evilsimon
22. tetrisalphabet iyaaaan lansu-sama
23. joltacat
24. evilsimon. Oh god, so much.
25. breepants
26. knackster BECAUSE I KNOW WHALE MATING CALLS SHMOOOOOO
27. kamesen24
28. eleventh_end
29. Wouldn't mind? Lots. This question? Zero.
30. The game.

sob I know like nobody so YOU'LL PROBABLY APPEAR MULTIPLE TIMES IF YOU'RE ON MY FLIST

eke432@gmail.com — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:43:45 GMT

The How's My Driving? Meme

SERIOUSLY.

ANY COMMENTS, POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE?

MUCH WANTED.

;__;

eke432@gmail.com — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 08:00:09 GMT

I am sitting on a couch. I am sipping kahlua and cream next to my mother. I should have been packing all of today for a small surprise trip tomorrow with dad.

Instead, I have spent six hours marathonning FMA: Brotherhood with my mother.

And drinking Kahlua.

Once that was done, she tried playing the Touhou fighting game and we eventually settled on Primrose.

To sum up: I have been sitting on a couch for six hours watching anime and drinking tasty alcohol with my mom.

To sum up to sum up: I have the coolest biological mother ever.

HRRRRRRRNGH

eke432@gmail.com — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 05:16:17 GMT

New Touhou Fighting game's out. Sanae, Utsuho, Cirno and Suwako are all playable characters.

New art and everything.

GUESS WHO'S GOING TO BE PLAYING TOUHOU AND ICONNING FOR THE NEXT WEEK 8DDDD

ganked from suporma @ LJ.

eke432@gmail.com — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 23:48:15 GMT

WHY THE HELL NOT.

➀ comment with a CHARACTER OF MINE.
➁ receive three bits of trivia about their sexuality:
practices, preferences, experiences, fantasies, kinks, etc.
➂ ask about how they'd interact with a character of your choice... IN BED.
➃ ???
➄ PROFIT

Active characters / characters I'm looking at at the moment are:

Shirley Fenette (Code Geass)
Nina Einstein (Code Geass)
Gino Weinberg (Code Geass)
Sunstorm / Sycophant Starscream (Transformers: Animated)
Megatron (Transformers: Animated)
Monoko (Yume Nikki)
Urotsuki (Yume 2kki)
Flonne (Disgaea)
Walter Sullivan (Silent Hill 4)
An Shouji (.hack // SIGN)
Kanji Tatsumi (Persona 4)
Flandre Scarlet (Touhou Project)
Suwako Moriya (Touhou Project)
A.B.A. (Guilty Gear)
Fujin (Final Fantasy VIII)

eke432@gmail.com — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 23:20:51 GMT

Tell us what your chosen major is, and then tell us what we really need to know about life in that chosen major.

Math/Physics, dual.

-Don't put off homework assignments. It doesn't matter if you think you know the topic, or it's "optional," or you think you'll be able to do it in the morning. Get that shit done.
-It doesn't matter if you were the king of math or physics in high school. You will learn more here first year than you did in four years of that topic in high school. Easily.
-Study. Yeah, that's right, I said study for math or physics.
-Plot out your classes ahead of time and try not to+ fail a single one, lest you be forced into taking five years of classes.
-If you don't think you know the material? Retake the class, since EVERY OTHER CLASS YOU TAKE WILL BUILD ON IT.

I tag everyone and nobody. Don't feel any need to do this, anyone on my f-list, but anyone who wants to? Go ahead!

IN WHICH ETHAN BITCHES. AT LENGTH.

eke432@gmail.com — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 08:13:51 GMT

I am so sexually and/or romantically frustrated it's ridiculous.

I don't know why or how it started (I WOULD GUESS IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I AM TECHNICALLY HUMAN, IDK), but it's just been getting worse and worse. I feel lonely pretty much nonstop by this point, I'm clinging to friends and pretty sure I'm pissing them off (when you call / IM someone several times in a day, it comes off as stalkerish), and what's worst is that I'm getting snappy with my friends.

AN AVERAGE CONVERSATION GOES ONE OF TWO WAYS:

A) Me: "HEY CAN WE HANG OUT PLEASE I'M SO DESPERATE"
Them: "no you're being creepy"
Me: ;_;

or

B) Me: "HEY HOW'S IT GOING"
Them: "I JUST GOT LAID IT'S PRETTY GOOD"
Me: ... "OH COOL"
Them: *GOES INTO DETAILS ABOUT HOW AWESOME IT IS TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND HAVE YOU FOUND SOMEONE YET ETHAN
Me: ... ;_;

Seriously, I know people talk about more than just that, but it's killing me when I enter a chat and see people talking about ~SEXUAL EXPERIENCESです~ and I'm just like "lol k." It's not like I mind people talking about those kind of things, I just... am woefully inadequate at chipping in with the conversation. So, instead, I just sit there and let the awkward flow.

And then this all leads to another problem - I would be an absolutely shitty boyfriend, in almost every traditional sense of the word. See, I don't elevate the amount of attention I lavish on people I date particularly higher than the friends level, which is wonderful if they don't care about that (like the two people in the world I've met that don't, one of which I dated for around two years) and absolutely shittastic for the 99% of the populace that believes dating requires a much more significant time investment. At the rate this is going, I'm looking at just shrugging off the whole "boifriendo" status/possibility entirely and just... idk. I'd say swearing everything off entirely, since that's the level of frustrated I'm at, except I know just as well as anyone else that's not going to happen.

Everyone talks about how they met someone and just FELL IN LOVE, and I don't think I've ever felt that way. There's been one person I loved in a way that wasn't quite platonic, and I'm never going to have a chance with them. (Ha ha. Damn my Y chromosome.) And - I wouldn't even say I was in love with that person. Not even close. Just that I genuinely trusted and loved them, like I do a lot of people - and that it wasn't quite platonic. So, if I'm cynical and distrusting of the idea that I'll fall in love with someone, and don't really want a truly significant other that'll edge other people away from me, what the fuck do I want?

With those kind of options, I guess I'm left with searching for friends with benefits and/or Friends with Benefits. (The first one being someone I can snuggle up to on the couch or rant to about my day, the second one being ~LOLSEXYTIEMS~.) Maybe that'll go easier than trying to find someone I wouldn't mind dating, since the list of people I wouldn't mind fooling around with / being close friends with is SIGNIFICANTLY longer than the list of people I'd really want to date. Like, that second list has maybe one or two people on it at a time, if there's anyone. B[

So, yeah. I can't really be a boyfriend for shit without hurting whomever I happen to be dating, since I'm a largely uncaring, apathetic, antisocial asshole when it comes to dating desu. I try my best to be at least an overall decent person, and I get the feeling it doesn't really matter.

In the end, I'll just be a sexually frustrated, average nerdy outcast teenager. Maybe someday, I'll find something that works for me.

Seriously. I'm well aware I'm not the only virgin on the internet (loooooooooooooool), but sometimes I feel like the only one. I can't date, since I'm just shitty at that in general and fit pretty squarely into the "terrible boyfriend" archetype. And yet, I want to be able to be there for someone. I want to fall asleep, holding someone in my arms, or to be able to try and kiss people better. I'm no stranger to sucky relationships (I KNOW THE RULES AND SO DO YOU), but... fuck. I don't know, honestly, I'm just ranting by this point.

tl,dr; ethan is bitchy, annoying, and sexually frustrated. if you wish to mock him, leave a message on the post and he'll get back to you shortly.

also, completely unrelated: fuck yardwork. There are 53 mosquito bites on my left leg and something around 38-40 on my right.

Fuck you, mosquitos.

Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery.

eke432@gmail.com — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:50:21 GMT

Wtf, brain. Why do I have such epic fanfic dreams that I kind of want to write ._.

Conversation with HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING
(1:24:49 AM) Derpy Angel: oh god
(1:24:53 AM) Derpy Angel: so i had another fanfic dream
(1:25:08 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: OH?!
(1:25:49 AM) Derpy Angel: SO
(1:26:12 AM) Derpy Angel: it's suzaku/shirley first off
(1:28:51 AM) Derpy Angel: are you there
(1:28:56 AM) Derpy Angel: ANYWAYS it's kind of odd
(1:28:58 AM) Derpy Angel: completely au
(1:29:07 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: sdfkjsdg sorry
(1:29:08 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: GO ON
(1:29:30 AM) Derpy Angel: OKAY SO. Suzaku is this kind of derpy, generally nice guy who moves into the same town as his friend, lelouch, who he went to school with in like lower school; and earlier
(1:29:32 AM) Derpy Angel: they're best buds and all right
(1:30:02 AM) Derpy Angel: ANYHOW Suzaku's also got this hobby as a freelance photographer, kind of a cool dude
(1:30:15 AM) Derpy Angel: sends in photos to newspapers just to see if he can, that sort of thing
(1:30:36 AM) Derpy Angel: and on the day he moves in, Lelouch is helping him move in to his new apartment and suzaku starts taking photos out the back window
(1:30:59 AM) Derpy Angel: So he sees this cute girl outside , and starts snapping photos of her
(1:31:05 AM) Derpy Angel: as she's walking
(1:31:15 AM) Derpy Angel: she looks up, sees him, smiles and kind of waves
(1:31:24 AM) Derpy Angel: Suzaku snaps a shot right as a car plows into her, killing her instantly.
(1:31:41 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: -- KLSFJKLSDJFKSDG
(1:31:45 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: HAHAHA OH MY GOD REALLY
(1:31:47 AM) Derpy Angel: YES
(1:31:56 AM) Derpy Angel: So.
(1:32:29 AM) Derpy Angel: Suzaku, naturally, freaks the fuck out since he just saw someone die
(1:32:42 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: Let me guess, she wasn't really there
(1:32:46 AM) Derpy Angel: and begins to guilt himself over it, massive guilty conscience
(1:32:49 AM) Derpy Angel: Nope, she was there, alright.
(1:33:03 AM) Derpy Angel: So, over the next few weeks, he starts having nightmares
(1:33:08 AM) Derpy Angel: in which he keeps seeing her die
(1:33:13 AM) Derpy Angel: and she keeps reaching out to him
(1:33:28 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: jdshfjksdjfds oh godddd
(1:33:39 AM) Derpy Angel: Suzaku starts to lose sleep, doing semi-suicidal acts because he's so freaked out / doesn't care about his own life anymore
(1:33:47 AM) Derpy Angel: and one day, he wakes up in the nightmare before she's hit
(1:34:07 AM) Derpy Angel: runs to the window, and she's standing in the intersection, shirt covered in blood.
(1:34:13 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: ijksfduiojsdfuihsdgjksdg
(1:34:15 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: oh my god
(1:34:20 AM) Derpy Angel: She smiles kind of sadly, waves to him and walks away.
(1:34:59 AM) Derpy Angel: This is the first time she hasn't seemed intimdating to him, since she's not actually dying in front of him
(1:35:07 AM) Derpy Angel: So the next few days, he keeps waking up and going to see her
(1:35:11 AM) Derpy Angel: and sure enough, she stays where she is
(1:35:36 AM) Derpy Angel: So one day, he wakes up, and instead of going to the balcony goes out his door and waves at her.
(1:35:59 AM) Derpy Angel: She tilts her head, kind of curious, and he does his best to smile and wave at her. She nods, smiling kind of happily, and turns and walks away again. he yells for her to stop and goes down and talks to her.
(1:36:13 AM) Derpy Angel: They make small chat, joking around even if she doesn't say anything back. He jokingly invites her into his house for tea, she laughs and smiles at him before walking away again. When he goes back to sleep, he has no nightmare.
(1:36:20 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: odsfjskdfjsd omg
(1:36:22 AM) Derpy Angel: He wakes up, and Shirley's body is laid across the chair next to him.
(1:36:28 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: -- JKSFHDKJSDFHKSDG
(1:36:31 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(1:36:47 AM) Derpy Angel: SO he freaks the fuck out, screaming and clawing his way out of the room
(1:37:03 AM) Derpy Angel: and sees shirley, not quite as terribly mangled as earlier, but still pretty bloody, sitting at his kitchen table.
(1:37:18 AM) Derpy Angel: She smiles and waves at him, and for the first time, tries to communciate with him.
(1:37:24 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: kdsjfksdlgjsdg omg
(1:37:51 AM) Derpy Angel: Turns out, Shirley's still bound to this plane for some reason. he still has the photo btw
(1:38:05 AM) Derpy Angel: of course, he can't bring himself to delete it - it's proof of his sins.
(1:38:19 AM) Derpy Angel: (this isn't outright said, of course, since Shirley's just as confused)
(1:38:31 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: dsklfjkdg aaaaaa this needs to be ficced
(1:38:34 AM) Derpy Angel: YES
(1:38:37 AM) Derpy Angel: I might actually start writing this
(1:38:40 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: Dude, DO IT
(1:39:09 AM) Derpy Angel: ANYHOW Suzaku manages to hide the body (I don't remember what he does - he might bury it, I don't remember)
(1:39:34 AM) Derpy Angel: So, he hires this psychic, Mao, to make sure he's not just psychotic
(1:39:43 AM) Derpy Angel: And Mao is in for all of like ten minutes
(1:39:43 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: sldkfgjgifjgklfh
(1:39:48 AM) Derpy Angel: not even remotely threatening
(1:39:54 AM) Derpy Angel: just. a genuine psychic.
(1:40:06 AM) Derpy Angel: Like, he gets in, his eyes kind of boggle out, he turns to shirley, points, and gets the fuck out.
(1:40:20 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: askjdaksf
(1:40:21 AM) Derpy Angel: he was the only funny part of my dream ;_;
(1:40:24 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: dfjlgjsdlkgd
(1:40:26 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: HAHAH yes
(1:40:34 AM) Derpy Angel: ANYHOW Lelouch comes over to visit
(1:40:44 AM) Derpy Angel: And Suzaku notices that Shirley is just flittering over him
(1:40:50 AM) Derpy Angel: and realizes that she's got a thing for him
(1:40:54 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: sdlfkskldjgsd
(1:40:56 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: aaaaaa oh god
(1:41:18 AM) Derpy Angel: (Suzaku, by the way, is still kind of in vaguely suicidal mode - he really doesn't recover from all this)
(1:41:27 AM) Derpy Angel: He's basically what he's like in R1, halfway in at this point
(1:41:33 AM) Derpy Angel: Trying to smile and failing, y'know?
(1:41:41 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: Yeah
(1:42:28 AM) Derpy Angel: ANYHOW I don't remember most of the in-between details
(1:42:34 AM) Derpy Angel: But Suzaku kind of starts liking Shirley
(1:42:45 AM) Derpy Angel: and even though she still likes lulu, she kind of starts liking him back.
(1:43:12 AM) Derpy Angel: -WAIT I REMEMBERED SOMETHING
(1:43:21 AM) Derpy Angel: It's not Lelouch that helps Suzaku unpack
(1:43:22 AM) Derpy Angel: it's Gino]
(1:43:31 AM) Derpy Angel: another one of his newer friends that came down with him
(1:43:40 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: aksjdaksjf OHhhh
(1:45:07 AM) Derpy Angel: (this is because Shirley's center of existence is focused on helping Suzaku get over her death at this point - she's gotten over lelouch, she gets suzaku's help in writing a letter, SORRY I'M REMEMBERING THIS AS I GO AND FILLING IN THE DETAILS)
(1:45:18 AM) Derpy Angel: So, ANYWAY, the story continues on, kind of slice of life in a vaguely morbid way
(1:45:43 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: sdojfkiojf oh godddd
(1:46:08 AM) Derpy Angel: ANYHOW. One day, Suzaku finally resolves to get over it, and gives Shirley kind of an impromptu burial
(1:46:14 AM) Derpy Angel: funeral, speech and all. by himself. he then says he's going to go give lelouch her letter
(1:46:46 AM) Derpy Angel: She smiles, hugs him (as best as she can), and says she'll be waiting back home for him.
(1:47:03 AM) Derpy Angel: (ALSO euphie is a girl that likes Suzaku in this. she works at a starbucks haha)
(1:47:08 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: dslkjfksdgkd
(1:47:18 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: I want you to write thissss
(1:47:31 AM) Derpy Angel: Kind of this innocent, sheltered girl that moved away from home so she could prove she was worth something more than her family's earnings
(1:47:39 AM) Derpy Angel: BUT Shirley gives him a hug and goes off
(1:47:48 AM) Derpy Angel: So Suzaku goes to work, does his business as a new guy - smiling for the first time
(1:47:51 AM) Derpy Angel: Goes home, and Shirley's gone.
(1:47:55 AM) Derpy Angel: Completely.
(1:47:56 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: ;__;
(1:48:09 AM) Derpy Angel: Since he was able to forgive himself, Shirley didn't really have a purpose anymore, so she dies off.
(1:48:19 AM) HAPPY CAKE AND PUDDING: kjsdklfsjdg oh god ;_;
(1:48:40 AM) Derpy Angel: So he kind of tidies up the house, and I remember - he has another photo of Shirley
(1:48:46 AM) Derpy Angel: not as the car hits her, but as she smiles up at him
(1:49:00 AM) Derpy Angel: And he frames that, leaving it in his room - not as a reminder of his sins, but as a memory of shirley
(1:49:05 AM) Derpy Angel: And then he moves on with his life.

why do I dream this kind of thing. AIM NAMES REPLACED FOR PROTECTION.

eke432@gmail.com — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:13:02 GMT

Fuck Windows, and fuck the horse it rode in on.

I'll be installing Windows XP or 7 soon enough, but for right now? After last night's hells, I'm running Ubuntu.

It's actually strangely pleasant, despite the feeling that I've opened up a portal to hell itself.

eke432@gmail.com — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 20:47:10 GMT

A meme, stolen from warplanes

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.

reborn: Hoo, boy. "Reborn" for me is a word that closely associates with Shirley (not at all because I use lovereborn as her primary username everywhere I go). It's in her death speech (lolspoilers), and it's one of the key aspects of what character she has - namely, that even disregarding death, she's completely rebooted twice in-series.

shirley: She's not a deep character. She's the Girl In the Fridge / Female Love Interest (one of many, to be fair) for the main character in Code Geass. And with all that said, she's still one of my favorite characters and definitely my favorite muse. (Maybe not my best or strongest, but that's what her many, many HMD posts are for orz. forz.) I've really got no idea why. She's just incredibly kind, incredibly forgiving and - in a lot of ways - I wish I could be more like her.*

*Maybe not in the getting shot department, or the "forgetting everything twice" thing, but in a lot of other ways, yeah.

texas: A place I used to feel welcome in, for the first seventeen years of my life. Home of my family, home of my descendants, and... not my home anymore.

new: oh fuck you seki I already see where this is going 8| Not necessarily better than used (except in certain cases, such as underthings), and usually what I go for even if I've got more than enough money for the new.

day: B| UNICORNS. also the time I like to sleep the most.

SO YEAH post or some shit I don't even care at this point. Back to working on that Heather application

How's my driving? Because I feel like it.

eke432@gmail.com — Sat, 23 May 2009 09:12:43 GMT

The How's My Driving? Meme

Go ahead. Concrit, flame, etc. is all welcome.

I doubt very many of you will have seen any of these characters in action, but... it never hurts to try, y'know? (p_o)/

HAHA.

eke432@gmail.com — Fri, 15 May 2009 23:11:00 GMT

Just got my math exam back, graded.

Fuck.

My.

Life.

Why the hell not. Meme stolen from... a friend.

eke432@gmail.com — Tue, 05 May 2009 06:47:21 GMT

The first ten people to comment in this post get to request a drabble of any pairing / character of their choosing from me. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability. If you absolutely cannot write, I do not see why you would not be able to offer drawings or icons or something instead.

eke432@gmail.com — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 02:39:53 GMT

ANON MEME

Not that I expect to get any responses, but what the hell.

orz.

MEME'D BY NICOLE DAMMIT (For, shit, I dunno, Shirley?)

eke432@gmail.com — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:47:24 GMT

1. Do you like this character?
I really enjoy playing Shirley. Like, "I am a Texan male and should probably be ashamed of myself for how much I empathize with her" level. p_o And if we're talking about the character proper, yes, I like her as well.

2. What name/names do you call this character?
Shirley, Dork, Orange-chan (JEREMIAH X SHIRLEY FOREVER ;3; except not ew)

3. What image-color do you associate with character?
Pink.

Lots of fucking pink.

4. What image-song do you associate with character?
Her official one, actually - Masquerade by Hitomi Kuroishi. It's so girly and pop-ish and it just feels a lot like Shirley.

If I had time to think I'd find more.

5. What blood-type do you think this character is?
Type A-. Definitely. (Don't ask me why I think that jeez I don't know either.)

6. Of all of the titles that this character appears in, what character do you like to put this character with?
Out of all the titles this character has been in? Easily Lelouch, since it's the only thing she'd ever actually allow. Followed by Milly if we're talking crack or Gino because I don't know why.

8. Which do you want to do with this character: Shake hands, hug or kiss?
Hug. I want to give Shirley a hug so damn much. ;_;

9. Please choose 5 friends with your choice of character.
I HAVE LIKE THREE FRIENDS

;3;

MEMETIEM

eke432@gmail.com — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:56:23 GMT

Alright. So, post with the name of one of my characters (there's a list down there god are you blind or something) and I'll fill this out for them.

01. Full name:
02. Best friend:
03. Sexuality:
04. Favorite color:
05. Relationship status:
06. Ideal mate:
07. Turn-ons:
08. Last sexual experience:
09. Favorite food:
10. Crushes:
11. Favorite music:
12. Biggest fear:
13. Biggest fantasy:
14. Quirks in bed:
15. Bad habits:
16. Biggest regret:
17. Best kept secrets:
18. Last thought:
19. Worst sexual/romantic experience:
20. Biggest insecurity:

So, characters...

With homes!
-Gino Weinberg
-Shirley Fenette (Daisychain + Wasteland)
-Fujin
-Flandre Scarlet

Without!
-A.B.A.
-Flonne
-Laguna Loire
-KAEDE Smith

eke432@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:35:42 GMT

My car's hydraulic system is dead, the windows are always open and the car battery is dead but it doesn't matter because I can't even open the hood. My 360 may have just red ring of death'd. Fatal Frame II is scratched beyond playability. I'm fucking up Physics beyond beliefe, I'm sick and tired of fucking shit up in math, I can't do stuff right without my car, and to top it all off my laptop power supply is gone and possibly any power supply might not work. I might be down another computer.

BRB HIATUS FROM LIFE. I'd say "if you want to talk you know where to find me" but without a charger my phone'll die within a few days anyways SO LOL YOU DON'T EVEN GET THAT LUXURY.

My computer's got three minutes left. Adios.

THE BEST DC FIC EVAR

eke432@gmail.com — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:52:53 GMT

Oh god don't kill me. This is all this and ketsuban's fault.

And now, I present THE BEST FIC EVAR.

Crabs, monsters, vampires, this city grew more and more dangerous. But for Mitsuki Konishi, danger was nothing new.

In fact, one might say it was her middle name. Except it wasn't. But that didn't matter. Writing a note in her PDA to avoid using such trite figures of speech, Mitsuki barely had time to notice the blue blur in front of her.

"Who-" Her question was immediately cut short by the figure with blue hair barreling straight into her. Shit! With his momentum, and her lack thereof, they'd fall!

Of course, by the time these thoughts ran through Mitsuki's mind, she had already hit the ground. The other man, meanwhile, seemed to be having other thoughts.

"Oy." Pointing down at the girl currently lying underneath him, the paragon of men, the tower of testosterone, the most epically badass badass in history grinned. "So, is this what all surface girls are like?"

And as Kamina grinned a smile so beautiful Baby Jesuses everywhere spontaneously began weeping, Mitsuki blushed and lost all capacity to speak. A standard reaction around Lord Kamina, really.

"Sorry, babe." Standing up and chivalrously offering a hand down to the prone woman (she didn't take it, of course - merely touching the demigod in front of her surely would've been sacriligous), the blue-haired man continued that radiant beam of a grin. "Gotta go, or Yoko'll shoot my ass."

And as Kamina sprinted off into the distance, jumping onto the nearest crab and riding him like a prize mount of some sort, Mitsuki could merely blush. To be graced with the privilege of even indirectly contacting such an ass! "No!" she shouted to his retreating form. "I must fight the surface-girls!"

"No, Mitsuki," Kamina called back to her, "you ARE the surface-girls!"

And then Mitsuki was from Ritona Village.

COMPUTERLESS NO MORE.

eke432@gmail.com — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:52:27 GMT

...SOON.

So, I've been without a computer for something like a week or two now, and that finally might come to an end. No updates on the dead one (motherboard's probably fried, loooool), but dad's sending up a spare he had.

...I-

-I can connect to AIM once again.

I'll be able to browse through the internet. I'll be able to RP without using a phone to post online, to have music in the background, and to talk to my friends and family, even the ones who don't have phones.

I'LL BE ABLE TO RUN A CHARACTER SHEET ON MY COMPUTER FOR THE D&D CAMPAIGNS I'M IN

...

FUCK THAT WASN'T QUITE THE DRAMATIC FINISH I WAS HOPING FOR

Still, it'll be nice to see all you guys again.

(p.s. - I'm writing this from the ETC here on campus. Last time I stayed in here for more than two hours, I began freaking out and hallucinating. That's why I haven't been on too much lately. :[ )

eke432@gmail.com — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 12:41:43 GMT

Tonight, my life was changed.

It started innocuously, with drinking games over Eternal Darkness and other light-hearted affairs. As time flew forward, though, the common room began to empty, leaving only a few straggling personalities in the room - myself included.

I learned how to properly deal with someone drunk off their ass and stoned, how to render aid where necessary instead of calling for help and waiting, incapacitated.

I learned how to play Three Dragon Ante, how it didn't really matter what cards were played so long as you watched the world around you carefully, and how a single misplaced card could send you flying, all your well-placed plans destroyed.

And then, at 4:30 AM, we decided - the four of us - to take a break and go get food.

And we drove. Around Portland, finding a pancake house and eating to our hearts delight and conversing frantically during the scramble.

But maybe that's a lie. Maybe I didn't talk too much - in fact, I never really tried to talk at all during that short half-hour. Instead, I listened to the stories of others. I listened as my fellow dormie talked of making it from a small town in Pennsylvania to Duke University and back in 24 hours only using public transit. I listened as the others spoke of busking for money on street corners in Berlin, making enough to buy the next meal or way out. I sat, passively listening, as they talked, with a fire lighting up their eyes.

I don't know if I've ever had that fire before. I don't know whether I've ever been able to just live life a little.

As I sat there, I simply let the words wash over me. Sometimes, there were no breaks in what they even said - as late as it was in the night (or was it the morning?), there was no evidence that they would even need sleep.

I realized just how sheltered I've really been all these years. I've led an easy life; nothing of major import's ever happened to me, no major traumas, and I'm happy for that - really, I am. But sometimes, I wonder how much I can really appreciate what I have when I don't know what struggle really is.

Skip forward - it's 5:33 as I'm writing this, having just got back in 10 minutes ago. We said our goodbyes, as I'm leaving in 6 hours for an airport (is it really so far off? There's so much I could be doing, so much things I haven't seen) back to Midland, Texas.

The night ended with a scene that's still replaying in my mind. The sophomore and I were laughing about how twisted, how topsy-turvy the night had been, and in a single moment the levity left.

He told me I could come with him next time - an unclarified, unsure time. Who knows, maybe it'll be next week, maybe a year from now, maybe never.

But this time, I'll be going with him.

Before he left the room, he looked at me again - and even though he never moved a single muscle, I swear I saw something burning in his eyes - he told me one last simple thing.

These are the moments in which we are alive.

Maybe this is something that'll help me, maybe it's not. Maybe I'm just meant for simpler things, like gaming and simple studying. But I do know one thing for certain: the next time I look into the mirror, I want to see that fire.

LOL DELETED.

eke432@gmail.com — Sat, 03 May 2008 21:20:10 GMT

Deleted all old entries, due to

M-M-MONSTER RETARDNESS.

:D